Heero's True Feelings
by Lizz1
Summary: Heero's true feelings about Relena. 2nd chapter: Getting Duo back! Two chapters done!!
1. Default Chapter

This is a romance/humor fic, but I posted it under humor, 'cause it's really funny! It has some violence in it. It has blood, guns, the whole load. No yaoi, though. All those depressing stories I was writing were making me sick (to me, a Duo/Hilde fic is sad…..DUO! Ashiteru, Duo!!), so I decide to write this! MUAHAHAHA!!!! 

Disclaimer: If you sued me you'd get twenty-two dollars and forty-seven cents. I'm pretty dang broke! (Actually I have a penny collection worth over $5.00, so you might get a bit more…) 

Every indentation is the next person talking/acting, just so you don't get confused.

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Title: Heero's True Feelings

Author: Minakku Maxwell or Yumerever or Lizz Schazar or…….(I have a lot of aliases)

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(Story opens late evening, in the Sanc Kingdom –before it was blown up- and Relena –YEURK!- and Heero are in the garden behind her institution –not the one she visits on the weekends for psychos, the other one for students- and they are having an intense conversation on a park bench. Heero talks more than usual in this fic, so please be patient! PATIENTCE IS A VIRTUE!! A VIRTUE!!!!)

"Heero, ever since I met you, I've been dying to know…What do you really feel about me *puts her hand on his chest* in here?"

"Relena, I've waited so long to tell you this. I've practiced what I'd say if you asked. Relena, I…."

"Yes, Heero? You can tell me anything."

"Relena, I…"

"Go ahead, Heero."

"Relena, I…"

"SAY IT, HEERO! SAY IT!!"

"Relena, I…..REALLY HATE YOU!!! *Pulls out a gun* THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU!!!"

"But Heero? You wouldn't….you wouldn't actually kill me, would you?"

"Yes, I would. Omae o koroso. *pulls trigger*

"Heero, that hurt!" (blood is literally pouring out of a hole in her chest)

*shoots another bullet into her chest*

"Heero!"

"WILL YOU DIE ALREADY!?!" * pulls trigger, aiming this time for her head instead*

The shot misses her head, but hits her neck, and a blue flash later her head is rolling across the ground. Heero yelps in surprise. The head rolls in front of Heero, and it turns out that Relena is really a…

"Robot? A robot? A FRICKEN' ROBOT!!!" *stomps on the mechanical head, then inspects the design of the body. A small engraved message on the back of its neck read: "GOTCHA! From: Duo!!"

Heero looks up to the a window of the institute and sees Duo looking down at him, Relena beside him, howling with laughter.

"I'll get you, Duo! Just when I thought she was finally dead……..I'll get you!"

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MUAHAHA! What will happen next? I wonder? We all know Duo won't die, because he's just too dam cute! Please review! 


	2. Heero's Revenge

MUAHAHAHA! I'm really sorry, Duo-chan, but I do have to torture you a bit in this fic. Anyway, this is entitled, Heero's Revenge.

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Heero left the robotic Relena lying all over the bench (…and sidewalk, and fountain, and the shrubs and….) and walked toward the institute, muttering to himself. "rikem, fricken riken, wricken DUO, rickum frickn fruking DUO…."

Heero climbs up a staircase, and makes a quick detour by the kitchen as a plan forms in his complicated mind. Staircase after staircase, floor after floor until he comes to the top floor, where Duo's room is, right across from Relena's room (a/n: I will not say rude things, I will not say rude things…). He walks to the door of Duo's room and finds it open. He peeks in, and notices Duo polishing his scythe collection. Heero smiles an evil smile before sneaking into the room, behind Duo. Duo doesn't even notice him.

"Humm..humm…Wild Wing Boys (complete lyrics, see here: [http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/mainpage13/Wildwingboyslyrics.html][1])….humm…humm…" Heero rolls his eyes at this. Heero carefully ties a little fish hook to the end of Duo's braid. Onto the hook he attaches a piece of cheesy, pepperoni pizza. Duo smells it, but his brain has to register the information first. In this time, Heero runs and hides behind the door and watches Duo. Duo Stands up, his nostrils flare and he smells the pizza! Hehehe….

Duo turns his head really fast, and his hair swings around, and the pizza slaps his (a/n: wonderful, gorgeous) face. He laughs insanely, then goes after the pizza, causing a massive 'runingay aroundess inay circuless', or in English, chasing his 'tail' around in a circle. Heero cannot contain himself and bursts out laughing, rolling around on the floor. Relena comes around the corner at this moment (a/n: Think hard! How would that look to you?) and stares at Heero. "Oh my god! Heero!" Relena says, shocked. Heero stops laughing long enough to ask her what is so shocking. "You have teeth!" "Of course I have teeth! What did you think, that I gummed my food to death?" 

Duo catches his hair, pulls the pizza off and is munching happily away. Quatre comes around the corner at this particular moment and is shocked that they are *GASP* fighting!

"Guys! Why can't we all just be friends??" says Quatre, close to tears.

"Because, Relena and Duo are so &%$#@ annoying." comments Heero between fits of laughter.

"That's not very nice! Relena, I think it's time you went back to your room, and you too, Duo!" says Quatre, all fatherly-like. "But, Quatre, I AM in my room!" says Duo through a mouthful of pizza. "Well, then. Heero, go back to your room!" 

"Mission accepted." Heero leaves for his room, plotting new tortures for Duo.

Quatre smiles and leaves to go to his own room. Everyone gets ready for bed. Heero lays down in his bed and mutters to himself, "I will return the prank, Maxwell. I've only just begun!!!"

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MUAHAHAHA!!! What will Heero do to Duo (sniff…my Duo….) in this all-out war? Will Relena ever realize that she is a pain in the gluteus maximus? Will Pinky and the Brain ever take over the world? Oh, wait! Wrong show! LOL. Tune in next day, same bat time, same…wait a minute! Never mind! I really do watch too much TV. Please R&R!

   [1]: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/mainpage13/Wildwingboyslyrics.html



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